I have had reason to review my life these past few weeks,
…and the process made me realised that it wasn’t long ago that my life was everything I wanted.
2009 was a year of sunshine,
…peace & serenity…
Everything flowed, the world was as it should be, the sky was the limit and my heart was at ease. 2009 was by far the best year of my life. I was living a dream – challenging in many ways, but overflowing in life quality and fulfillment. I could not have asked for more!
So what happened in 2010?
I lost everything I took for granted.
Worst of all, I lost that childlike expectation of wanting to know what is yet to come.
I never wanted to lose that.
I always said children are the best teachers in life, and I never wanted to stop expecting that tomorrow would be a beautiful day.
Yet as we climbed our way through 2010,
…and well into 2011…
…our souls grew weary…
…and our bodies weak.
On the outside, things would regain a “familiar” shape,
…but on the inside, the heart was broken; a brittle tree bracing itself for a life without rain.
I used to be an open book.
I used to fall in love with every new little treasure I discovered, always looking for “the little things” that made my life so rich.
I used to breathe freedom and hope, knowing my heart was heading towards something I had never seen, but which was greater than anything I knew.
Suddenly, my heart needed shelter,
…and a passage through the dark.
It would take long before we got through. Maybe I am still not through.
And so where I am now, a year and a half later?
What do I see, when I look out at my life?
The road ahead has not changed,
…but do I have the strength to walk until the end?
I really cannot tell.
I cannot fight the sorrow. I cannot bring back what has been lost.
I can only face my fears and keep going forward,
…holding on to what I believe in, and doing everything I can to get there.
Without forgetting that the sun is still shining,
…and that all days will be made new.