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I have had reason to review my life these past few weeks,

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…and the process made me realised that it wasn’t long ago that my life was everything I wanted.

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2009 was a year of sunshine,

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…life quality…

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…peace & serenity…

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…and joy.

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Everything flowed, the world was as it should be, the sky was the limit and my heart was at ease. 2009 was by far the best year of my life. I was living a dream – challenging in many ways, but overflowing in life quality and fulfillment. I could not have asked for more!

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So what happened in 2010?

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I lost everything I took for granted.

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Peace…

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Serenity…

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Visibility…

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Anticipation…

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Safety…

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…and more.

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Worst of all, I lost that childlike expectation of wanting to know what is yet to come.

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I never wanted to lose that.

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I always said children are the best teachers in life, and I never wanted to stop expecting that tomorrow would be a beautiful day.

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Yet as we climbed our way through 2010,

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…and well into 2011…

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…our souls grew weary…

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…and our bodies weak.

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On the outside, things would regain a “familiar” shape,

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…but on the inside, the heart was broken; a brittle tree bracing itself for a life without rain.

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I used to be an open book.

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I used to fall in love with every new little treasure I discovered, always looking for “the little things” that made my life so rich.

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I used to breathe freedom and hope, knowing my heart was heading towards something I had never seen, but which was greater than anything I knew.

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Suddenly, my heart needed shelter,

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…and a passage through the dark.

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It would take long before we got through. Maybe I am still not through.

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And so where I am now, a year and a half later?

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What do I see, when I look out at my life?

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The road ahead has not changed,

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…but do I have the strength to walk until the end?

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I really cannot tell.

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I cannot fight the sorrow. I cannot bring back what has been lost.

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I can only face my fears and keep going forward,

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…holding on to what I believe in, and doing everything I can to get there.

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Without forgetting that the sun is still shining,

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…and that all days will be made new.

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